Superwoman has Resigned

Life can become very busy, especially in a society where occupied time is valued as achievement.  The busier you are the, the more you must be kicking goals, no matter the personal cost.  I love the saying “stop the glorification of busy”.  I have spent the last while slowing my life down, on purpose.  Not such an easy task with four children, studying a Masters full time, running a small business amongst the usual array of commitments, responsibilities, life happenings and celebrations.  However, I was determined to start enjoying life at a pace that had me in the moment, not crossing things off my list and rushing to the next thing.  Where is the serenity in that?

Not an easy task, but I have found effective ways to actually move into a life I think is more considered, and much more enjoyable.  The first thing I did was respond with no thank you or I will think about that and get back to you, because I always automatically said yes.  I heard years ago “if you want to get something done ask a busy person.” For a long time, I believed the more I did the better I was as a human.  I was a human doing, not a human being. This went on for years. Do not get me wrong, I have really enjoyed many things I said yes to but I reached a turning point where I needed to get the focus back on my life – specifically family time, study, career and relationships.  I had to look at my hours in the day and what I could realistically achieve. This meant a big evaluation of where my time was going, and a lot it was on service to others, in many different capacities.

I made a decision to be very considered about who I spent my time with.  I have some amazing and wonderful friends and we do not get enough time together as it is.  I stopped distracting myself with allocating time on matters that weren’t important to the family or myself.  This took some newly acquired pauses instead of instantly saying yes because I was asked. To do this, I considered my available time, what my current capacity was and if I wanted to turn towards or away from a new invitation.  I have focused on not spreading myself too thinly just because someone or something is asking for my time.

I am not sure about others but working part time for myself and studying from home, I am inclined to receive more social invitations during the day. I started to structure my week so I knew when it was a work or study day, and it has become not negotiable. Having said that though, my close friends are very good at receiving and respecting a “sorry cannot do that right now, writing endless essays” response.  They are used to that, and they are my true friends.  I know they will be still be there when I finish studying.

Simply, I got tired, both emotionally and physically, of trying to juggle really busy schedules for five people.  I started to say no to some of my children’s requests for joining more sports teams, and I have encouraged the older ones to start taking public transport a bit more often, which means less driving for me.  I certainly have been ridiculed for these very decisions, and not by the kids. However, even in the face of this judgement I have to continually come back to trusting myself and my new limits.  Really it is none of anyone’s business anyway.  At the end of the day, I am flying solo, I do not have an extra person earning household income or contributing to the logistics of our lives.  I believe what I do is good enough. I no longer have to be a self-appointed superwoman. She resigned a little while ago, without notice, and she’s not coming back.

A 45cm sterling silver wearable affirmation to remind your self, or someone you love, who is trying their hardest and refusing to give up that like us, you’ve got this.  No matter what. See

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Leaning Inwards

Blogger. Cyclist. Hiker. Mother of four. Trauma Counsellor. Wild and peaceful woman pushing comfort zones.

One thought on “Superwoman has Resigned”

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